I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
