I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
