What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
