Define "chronic" masturbator.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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