what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
