omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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