dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
