gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
