Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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