but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Terrible idea I love it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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