No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We are all done wearing pants today
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
