I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
