He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize