i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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