Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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