so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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