I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
