i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
