Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
