I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
These tits shall not be calmed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
