Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
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Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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