Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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