i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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