it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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