i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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