Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
