Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
