just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How does it feel to date your dad?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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