as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
