Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
