Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
