I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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