I'm so fucking centered right now
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize