you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
either way he was missing a nipple.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize