oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
