Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
