Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
