I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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