i barfeds in our rink
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize