If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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