Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
