she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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