youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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