you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
