I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
