East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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