The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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