How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
