She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
