So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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