I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
