Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
