Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
