i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
