I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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