happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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