Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
